meant to be

Lie down and look up at the ceiling.

And breathe.

Breathe again with those curiously fragile lungs of yours.

Remind yourself;

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

All is as it was meant to be.

It was meant to be

lonely,

terrifying,

unfair and heaving.

Don't worry. 

that one

If that one thing hadn't happened,

if that one person had't broken your heart,

you would've turned out completely different.  

You would not be the person you are right now.

Everything that has happened to you has affected you, 

everyone that has happened to you.  

You let people into your life that 

have drained you

taken away parts of your heart and soul

and guess what?

You can never have them back.  

Sometimes its terrifying to think about,

that you will never be that exact same

person again.

You never go back

and become unaffected by what has happened to you

or who has happened to you.

You have been changed.

As humans, we must adapt to this stupid 

unwanted change and move on.

You will miss who you were before.

The more innocent, more vulnerable.

More whole.  

late

Its 2am and I'm a fucking mess because

this would be the time that I send you

perpetual texts messages confessing how much

I like you and how lovely you are and God

it's a fucking shame that we couldn't last because

we were falling for each other

it was undeniable

it was undeniable

it was undeniable

the words echo in my head but i can't help ponder how

such a powerful emotion could go unnoticed by you

i felt the deepest infatuation that anyone could ever develop maybe

i fell harder  for you than you did for me

maybe you didn't fall for me at all

God i'm so fucking sorry things ended this way

I'm sorry that you seem to be fine while I'm

hundreds of miles away screaming your name

in hope that you hear

the agony

in my

voice