Saturday, May 30, 2015

boy thoughts

Who am I no one really knows 
when I try to get close they ask to many questions
so I put up a mask up of lies, and hurt 
hoping no one will see through my phony disguise


because no one knows I cry myself to sleep at night
hoping wishing someone will free me from my curse
I try to talk to friends but they don't understand
all except one



it's like she knows about my mask of sorrow 
she see's through the lies and helps me when I'm hurt
I think she knows but I'm not really sure
but until she frees me 



I put my mask on hoping one day she'll take it off me
but until then we're taking it one step at a time
together hand in hand 

this one is written for my friend, my brother, my birth pal ;)
 this ones for you Abz :3 

moral


the moral of this story
is that no matter how much we try,
no matter how much we want it ...
some stories just don't have 
a happy ending

transcript on positivity

At this moment you could be anywhere, doing anything. Instead you sit alone before a screen. So what’s stopping us from doing what we want? Being where we want to be?

Each day we wake up in the same room and follow the same path, to live the same day as yesterday. Yet at one time each day was a new adventure. Along the way something changed. Before our days were timeless, now our days are scheduled.

Is this what it means to be grown up? To be free? But are we really free?

Food, water, land.

The very elements we need to survive are owned by corporations. There’s no food for us on trees, no freshwater in streams, no land to build a home. If you try and take what the Earth provides you’ll be locked away. So we obey their rules.

We discover the world through a textbook. For years we sit and regurgitate what we’re told. Tested and graded like subjects in a lab. Raised not to make a difference in this world, raised to be no different. Smart enough to do our job but not to question why we do it. So we work and work, left with no time to live the life we work for. Until a day comes when we are too old to do our job. It is here we are left to die. Our children take our place in the game.

To us our path is unique, but together we are nothing more than fuel. The fuel that powers the elite. The elite who hide behind the logos of corporations. This is their world. And their most valuable resource is not in the ground. It is us.

We build their cities, we run their machines, we fight their wars. After all, money isn’t what drives them. It’s power. Money is simply the tool they use to control us. Worthless pieces of paper we depend on to feed us, move us, entertain us. 

They gave us money and in return we gave them the world. Where there were trees that cleaned our air are now factories that poison it. Where there was water to drink, is toxic waste that stinks. Where animals ran free, are factory farms where they are born and slaughtered endlessly for our satisfaction. Over a billion people are starving, despite us having enough food for everybody. Where does it all go? 70% of the grain we grow is fed to fatten the animals you eat for dinner. Why help the starving? You can’t profit off them.

We are like a plague sweeping the earth, tearing apart the very environment that allows us to live. We see everything as something to be sold, as an object to be owned. But what happens when we have polluted the last river? Poisoned the last breath of air? Have no oil for the trucks that bring us our food? When will we realize money can’t be eaten, that it has no value?

We aren’t destroying the planet. We are destroying all life on it. 
Every year thousands of species go extinct. And time is running out before we’re next. If you live in America there’s a 41% chance you’ll get cancer. Heart disease will kill one out of three Americans.  We take prescription drugs to deal with these problems, but medical care is the third leading cause of death behind cancer and heart disease. We’re told everything can be solved by throwing money at scientists so they can discover a pill to make our problems go away. But the drug companies and cancer societies rely on our suffering to make a profit. We think we’re running for a cure, but really we’re running away from the cause. Our body is a product of what we consume and the food we eat is designed purely for profit.  We fill ourselves with toxic chemicals. The bodies of animals infested with drugs and diseases. But we don’t see this. The small group of corporations that own the media don’t want us to. Surrounding us with a fantasy we’re told is reality. 

It’s funny to think humans once thought the earth was the center of the universe.  But then again, now we see ourselves as the center of the planet. We point to our technology and say we’re the smartest. But do computers, cars, and factories really illustrate how intelligent we are? Or do they show how lazy we’ve become. We put this “civilized” mask on. But when you strip that away what are we?

How quickly we forget only within past hundred years did we allow women to vote; allow blacks to live as equals. We act as if we are all-knowing beings, yet there is much we fail to see. We walk down the street ignoring all the little things. The eyes who stare. The stories they share. Seeing everything as a background to ‘me’.

Perhaps we fear we’re not alone. That we are a part of a much bigger picture. But we fail to make the connection. We’re okay killing pigs, cows, chickens, strangers from foreign lands. But not our neighbours, not our dogs, our cats, those we have come to love and understand. We call other creatures stupid yet we point to them to justify our actions. But does killing simply because we can, because we always have, make it right? Or does it show how little we’ve learned.  That we continue to act out of primal aggression rather than thought and compassion.

One day, this sensation we call life will leave us. Our bodies will rot, our valuables recollected. Yesterday’s actions all that remain. 
Death constantly surrounds us, still it seems so distant from our everyday reality. We live in a world on the verge of collapse. The wars of tomorrow will have no winners. For violence will never be the answer; it will destroy every possible solution.

If we all look at our innermost desire, we will see our dreams are not so different. We share a common goal. Happiness. We tear the world apart looking for joy, without ever looking within ourselves. Many of the happiest people are those who own the least.  But are we really so happy with our iPhones, our big houses, our fancy cars? 

We’ve become disconnected. Idolizing people we’ve never met. We witness the extraordinary on screens but ordinary everywhere else. We wait for someone to bring change without ever thinking of changing ourselves.

Presidential elections might as well be a coin toss. It’s two sides of the same coin. We choose which face we want and the illusion of choice, of change is created. But the world remains the same. We fail to realize the politicians don’t serve us; they serve those who fund them into power. 

We need leaders, not politicians. But in this world of followers, we have forgotten to lead ourselves. Stop waiting for change and be the change you want to see. We didn’t get to this point by sitting on our asses. The human race survived not because we are fastest or the strongest, but because we worked together.

We have mastered the act of killing. Now let’s master the joy of living.

This isn’t about saving the planet. The planet will be here whether we are or not. Earth has been around for billions of years, each of us will be lucky to last eighty. We are a flash in time, but our impact is forever.

I often wished I lived in an age before computers, when we didn’t have screens to distract us.
But I realize there's one reason why this is the only time I want to be alive. Because here today, we have an opportunity we never had before. The internet gives us the power to share a message and unite millions around the world. While we still can we must use our screens to bring us together, rather than farther apart.

For better or worse, our generation will determine the future of life on this planet. We can either continue to serve this system of destruction until no memory of our existence remains. Or we can wake up. Realize we aren’t evolving upwards, but rather falling down...we just have screens in our faces so we don’t see where we’re heading.

This present moment is what every step, every breath and every death has led to. We are the faces of all who came before us. And now it is our turn. You can choose to carve your own path or follow the road countless others have already taken. 

Life is not a movie. The script isn’t already written. We are the writers.

This is Your Story, Their Story, Our Story. 

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

it is simply wasted breath


Dear stranger ; 

I promised myself that i would stop crying out for you in both pain and pleasure.  Your name burns in my throat as well as my skin as it's traced up and down my arms, over my shoulder blades, down my spine and eventually clasping around my waist, squeezing harder and harder, so hard that i collapse.  Only you aren't there to help me back up anymore. You step over me like im dirt.  And that was the day i knew it was over.  

dear stranger ; 
who are you? 

from a book i am yet to write


"But with mist, you don't know you are getting wet.  And then it hits you.  You're soaking."

He said 

" I think that's how it is with missing some people.  You think you're fine, because it's only a little mist right? But there's more mist than you think.  And it all adds up.  And soon it's in your eyes and your hair, and the mist is water, clinging to your skin "   

You have to


But at some point, you have to stop being so angry,
you have to stop being so sad,
you have to stop killing yourself
and actually start to be gentle with your soul.  

At some point, you have to just let it all go and be happy.  
You have to spread love instead of being afraid of it. 
You have to love yourself and everyone around you before it's too late. 

Dont waste away being unhappy over trivial things dear.
Don't do it. 
Don't do it yourself and certainly don't let any other soul
do it to you too.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

You cannot bargain with death

The smoke has wrapped around your throat and made a little noose.  death has come to meet you and i am now begging for him to let you go.  His long dark arms come down to claim you as his and i scream.  i scream so loud that my voice is ripping to shreds and my brain is about to explode.  no one else can see death take him away from me, no one understands my goddamn pain.  they try and comfort me but i can only sob as death floats away with your soul which i loved so very much. 

To the well-organised mind, death is nothing but the next adventure. 

Saturday, May 02, 2015

She said He said

She asked him:
Where did you go
Over and over again
i lose you

He replied:
I was simply at the bar but
Wherever i am
If im at the bar or not
You'll never lose me

She says:
If you stay at that bar
You'll eventually become so
Blurry eyed
And confused
That in a small crowd you wont recognise me

He said:
In a small crowd
A crowd of thousands, millions and
billions
Yes, i could even forget my own face but yours my love will be forever remembered.

for my sister

Love is an elusive, unrealistic, foreign concept. I know some people feel it and it’s not that I’m hardened. I’m an optimist, but first and foremost I’m a realist. My life will not follow a fairy tale, and that’s okay. My life is reality. And in my reality people don’t fall in love and get married and live happily ever after, because life is complicated. And messy. I’m happy knowing that fairy tales exist out there for people and not for me.